War Tales of Buying a Car

When you think about going to a car dealer to buy a new or used car, do you:
a. Smile and get a head rush thinking about the delightful day you will spend in the company of a car salesman, or
b. Go back to bed and figure out how to squeeze another 200,000 miles out of your car that was rear ended and looks pretty disfigured and has a serious oil leak to boot?

My husband has a great aversion to car salesmen. If you’ve ever seen Cesar Millan, “The Dog Whisperer”, on the National Geographic channel, you will know that Cesar has rules for meeting new dogs: no eye contact, no talking, no touching. That pretty much sums up how my husband deals with car salesmen. Oh, and he walks 2 paces behind me, thereby cleverly making me the front man. Me, I have no aversion issues.

Several years ago, I thought I might like a minivan. I expressed a serious interest in one of the cars and asked to test drive it. The salesman happily (noting the serious intent on my face and seeing commission dollars in his head) took my husband’s license so we could take the vehicle out for a spin. It was a nice car, but after some discussion (out of earshot of the salesman), we decided to save our money and give it some thought. After all, buying a car is a very large investment. Not that long ago, I could have bought a house with the same amount of money. And the house wouldn’t develop engine problems within a few years.

At this dealership, once you took a test drive, their belief was that you now committed yourself to buying the car. The salesman looked peeved and said we couldn’t leave until we spoke to the sales manager.

I could feel an ugly situation brewing. Perhaps it was the electrical charge that was emanating off my husband. I wanted to give the unsuspecting salesman a heads up on the whole “you can’t” thing when it comes to my husband.

The sales manager came out, berated the salesman for not doing a good enough job so HE would now take over. Yes, it was getting ugly. And then the fool said the immortal sentence while actually looking at my husband. “You indicated to my salesman that you were interested in this car. You took a test drive in it. You cannot waste his time and not buy the vehicle.”

My husband asked for his license back. He asked in that low voice which I have only heard a few times when he has been really angry. Now lest you think my husband has anger management issues, I assure you he is a very mild mannered, easy going sort of guy. He has to be. He lives with me, and I suck up all the energy in the household. In a fun, inspirational sort of way.

Anyway, I took a quick glance at my husband’s face. Uh oh. In addition to the low, measured tones, he was looking at the sales manager directly in the eye and not really blinking all that much. In the manly world, that would be called “squaring off”.

The sales manager didn’t catch the nuance of how serious a situation this was becoming, as he said “No,” to the request for the driver’s license. Wow, I thought to myself. I’m in the middle of a rumble if this idiot doesn’t back down. Surely he doesn’t think he’s going to intimidate us into buying a car at this point!

I’ve seen a lot of sales tactics, but this one took the prize. I suppose he thinks his rude and scary method was a great way to get a sale. It still boggles my mind. My husband, now with jaw clenched, said in a very firm and “you’re about to go down dude” sort of voice, that he wanted his license NOW, or he would call the police and they would get it for him. That did the trick. The license flew into his hands. We flew out of the car lot.

That’s my worst story. My best story is just a few days ago when we visited Dublin Honda, here in California. I was rear ended by a young girl on a cell phone last September. Love those cell phones. It was time to get our second car. I suggested to my husband that we go take some test drives and just get a feel for what we (I) might want to drive. His face took on the pale glimmer of past memories with car dealers.

We went to the car lot, with my husband walking a few paces behind me, and instead of the typical speed of a salesman who normally is waiting to grab you as you climb out of your car, we actually had time to look in the window of a few cars before the sales guy appeared. I test drove several cars, asked lots of questions, asked about comparisons to models from another manufacturer, and the salesman suggested I go test drive the other cars to see what I thought. I was agog. My husband wasn’t saying anything. I think he was thrown by this atypical sales experience. And he was holding onto his driver’s license….just in case.

Needless to say, we bought a car from them, and because it was such a nice experience, I’ll give them a plug. Go to Dublin Honda on Scarlett Court in Dublin and ask for Berry Pries. He won’t steal your driver’s license and he’s very friendly. My husband actually had a conversation with him…without using that freaky “you’re in deep, deep trouble” voice.