Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? Little things just pile one on top of the other. And you think to yourself that if you had only paid attention to the little Sign that precluded the misadventurous day, you would have gone directly back to bed and avoided the whole mess altogether so that you could start fresh the next day.
On Thursday I noticed—midday—that my socks didn’t match. Had I realized that this was the first in a growing line of clothing issues, I would have taken the next day off work and stayed in bed. But of course as a skeptical person, this “posh and drivel” about warning Signs eluded me.
On Friday, my socks seemed to match when I left home, but I noticed after getting to work that they in fact did not. Similar, but not exact. At least they were the same color, if not the same pattern. The right sock kept bunching around my ankle in annoying wrinkles. And although they were both complete socks in the morning, they acquired holes in both toes by lunch time. I know this because I was wearing peep toe shoes. And if you think no one looks at your socks, try wearing peep toe shoes with your toes peeping out of your socks. You’ll find that a lot of people in fact do notice your feet.
I also realized that the trousers I was wearing had two spots on one leg. Oh right. These were the pants I meant to take to the cleaners, but forgot. If you think no one notices small spots on your pants, try wearing pants with spots. You’ll find that a lot of people notice your pants. The same people who notice your holey socks.
It was dark when I got dressed.
And my knee started hurting for no known reason. And my new shoes rubbed a hole in my toe (but not the toe that was poking through the sock).
See what I mean about Signs? I should have taken the cosmic hint on Thursday and stayed home.
My husband had a friend who was given a Sign, but chose to ignore it. The results were far worse than my clothing issues. I hope you use this story as an example of why you should not ignore the small Signs in life.
Hal wanted a camper. He wanted it more than anything else. He finally found an ad for a used camper that fit the bill. He and my husband went to look at said camper, which was located in a run down trailer park.
The camper was in pretty good shape, but looked as if it had not been used for some time. The old guy showed them this and that, passed a lot of gas (with no shame about it), and then told them that his wife had died in it one morning several years ago while cooking him some bacon and eggs at their campsite.
Signs. You can feel the dark cloud of it creeping along your spine, worrying at your brain that this event shouldn’t be taken lightly. On the way home they made jokes about the camper probably being haunted. You shouldn’t joke about the Signs.
The men decided a camping trip was in order to make full use of this wonderful camper.
Do you feel the first trembling of fear? Don’t you want to reach into your computer and drag those two fools back from the brink of disaster? Too late my friend. They did not heed the Sign.
With camper and boat in tow, they left with happy thoughts of a whole week of camping and dreams of catching a zillion trout. Since the primitive camping area was on the west side of the lake opposite the blacktop and dirt boat launching ramp, they immediately proceeded across the dam to see if their favorite spot was available. Since it was a Monday, the place was practically deserted and their spot was indeed available. They pulled off the logging road, shut off the old red Ford’s engine, whipped out the folding chairs, Hal got a beer, my husband Sid got an iced tea, and they sat down to contemplate their next move.
After spending some time congratulating themselves for being fine fellows who are smart enough to go camping in the first place, they decided that it was time to head back across the dam to the boat ramp to launch the boat. So, leaving their two folding chairs to mark their spot, they headed out for the boat launch.
As the boat, trailer, truck, camper, and Hal went whizzing past Sid, he happened to glance at the stern of the boat and realized that the plug was still out. He yelled at Hal and waved his arms. Hal stopped the boat about a foot shy of the water avoiding the probability of the boat sinking to the bottom of the lake.
Once in the water, Sid started the boat motor and commenced to cross the lake. Hal drove the truck and trailer back to their campsite where he could get another beer and climb down the rocks to the water’s edge so that Sid would know where to park the boat.
Unfortunately, when Hal hit the campsite he noticed that oddly enough, there were no camp chairs where camp chairs ought to be. Who would do such a thing? They recalled that as they were heading for the boat ramp they had seen a man and a woman coming in on a motorcycle.
My husband fumed as he sat on a hard firewood stump. Hal sat on the tailgate of his truck fiddling with his camera that would no longer take pictures for some unknown reason.
Oh the Signs. They were mounting like age spots on a sunbather.
Sid’s behind couldn’t take sitting on the hard stump any longer and he jumped up marching off to go in search of his chair with Hal beside him.
They found the chairs in the campsite of the motorcyclists. The woman assured them that they were just looking after them until the owners showed up as they didn’t want anyone to steal the wonderful chairs. What kindly people they were.
Sid and Hal finally got back to camp, stowed the chairs in the camper (which they locked), and took to the high seas for some fishing.
Sid thought they were moving sort of slow, to which Hal noted that they had been dragging the anchor for a quarter of a mile.
Sid cast his line for some serious fishing, but unfortunately cast the front half of his fishing rod into the lake. Hal didn’t laugh, but Sid thought that pretending not to laugh was a lot worse than actually laughing out loud.
The Signs were practically slapping them upside the head to be noticed, which they didn't, so had to incur some further mishaps.
The camper had an electric water pump. A very nice feature unless you are so enamored of your new camper’s feature that you overuse the nice feature. Get my drift?
Now that they were completely out of water, they were forced to go to the picnic facility on the opposite side of the lake. They found a faucet with threads, but Hal’s hose was only four feet long. The only way to get the camper close enough to the building was to drive up over the concrete walkway, which if caught by the ranger, might mean expulsion from this great camping adventure. Fortunately, they were able to fill the water tank without notice.
The booty from this trip was one small fish that happened to run into Hal’s lure.
Now you’d think this would be the end of the story, but you’d be wrong. As I said before, these two men did not pay attention to the Signs. Hal did not unload his camper and let it sit for a month to let the Bad Cosmic Signs dissipate. Oh no. He kept the camper on the truck and drove the truck to town.
He forced the Sign into The Holy Big One.
Sid called Hal a few days after the Great Camping Adventure and asked if he had purchased a longer hose for water shortage situations. Hal said no as he did not have the camper any longer. Now what on earth could Hal have done with his beloved camper?
He had driven downtown one afternoon as he needed to stop at Grand Auto. The parking lot was full, so he drove around to the street in back of the store and was just about to pass a Grand Auto semi truck that was parked at the curb. He caught the right front corner of the camper on the left rear corner of the semi trailer and in his words, “The damn thing jumped out of the back of the truck, landed upright on the street and disintegrated.”
I trust that when small things start happening to you, you will remember this story and keep the vision of holy socks and a shattered camper in the middle of the street in your memory when you call work to tell them you won’t be in.
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